wow. i check out for a few days and 2 of my fav blogfamilies are preggers with their second kiddos!!! CONGRATS we are fambly and chronicles of conception !!!!!!
tomorrow i start my new job. i feel pretty ready – just bummed it’s MLK day. my kids and wifey are off and gonna do some cool stuff and i sure do wish i could be with them.
it’s been a bit rough over here in the vr. as a new year’s resolution, i decided to take better care of myself. i’m really good about getting the kids where they need to be and what they need, mostly good at doing those things for my wife, and then, somehow i’m last on the list. i’ve been having some chronic pain for almost a year now that i’ve chalked up to getting old. i finally made an appointment with my pcp who was pretty confused about why i waited to long to tell her about all this achiness and swelling. my response, “i just don’t have time.” so they did a ton of bloodwork and what came up was a vitamin D deficiency. which goes hand in hand with fibromyalgia. so, that’s pretty much the dx. off to the rheumatologist i go. no, wait. not so quick. can’t get an appt. with her till APRIL! i’ll be 38 by then!!! oy.
meanwhile, i hurt my neck some sortofway and also have a slipped disk in my neck. i’ve been pretty much immobile all week. i finally got some flex.oril for the pain which pretty much just puts me to sleep. so – not really helpful for my workweek.
i’m excited about my job but i admit, i’ve been whining and crying all week about being exhausted and wanting to stay home for a while. i feel like even with the kids in school all day there is SO much to do!!! i think, though, that a lot of it is anxiety about starting a new job. i actually LIKE my work, i just feel tired right now. and really, i think fibro is just a symptom of my complete exhaustion.
we decided to talk about a plan for me to be able to stay at home in the next couple of years. especially since our next go round will be an infant. and i haven’t ruled out trying to get preggers again (and all you people get BFPs are not helping!!!
but i just want to get my license (lmhc) first because i feel like if i don’t do it now it’s never gonna happen.
in other news, we are moving toward being a family of locavores. i managed to cook the whole weeks worth of meals today, of which i’d say 90% is locally grown/made foods. the movie food inc. really hit me hard – not that i didn’t already know this stuff was going on but wow. so, it’s a process to become unprocessed. i cleaned out the fridge and freezer today which felt really good and it’s now sticked with fresh foods for the week. i prepped the weeks meals so that we aren’t tempted to eat out or eat junk because it’s quicker and we are tired. we also purged a lot LOT LOT! of things in our home this past week and had a couple of garage sales. we still have a lot to sell or give away but it feels really good to be moving out the clutter.
and i’m trying REALLY hard to take care of myself. and yell at the kids less. and lose weight.and read more.
oh – and i’m trying to get the kids geared up about our garden this summer. and we are filling out our application for the local CSA. and while i’m doing all of this you have to wonder, does it matter? are the kids *really* getting it? will it make a difference in their choices later in life? these kids who come home from school at age 3 asking to watch hannah.montana….? today in a moment of disbelief at something my daughter said, i looked at lani and said, “that’s it, they are going to private school!!!” but we are HUGE believers in public school. lani teaches in public school for that matter. and not that we could ever even afford to send our kids to private school, i just got a little bit freaked out, my kids are getting bigger every day. their biggest insult to each other is to say, “you aren’t gonna get to go to kindergarten!” school. it’s such a big deal. registering kyiz for kindergarten this week i almost cried. am i making the right choices for her, the right school (it’s a lottery so it’s totally out of my hands)???? it all feels like such a track that you get on and then get off at college ……. felt like signing over her whole lifetime of education – which it obviously isn’t. but it was a big deal for me.
and wednesday we go to kiko’s IEP meeting. his eval showed that he would do best in an intergrated pre-school classroom, so, we have the option to move him from where he is now into a bps K0 slot (K0 is boston public school pre-school). he’d get a lot more services and help. there would be more structure. it would be good for him. and then this other part of me wants to put him in some hippiedippie school the focus would be only on his strengths and he wouldn’t need an IEP because he’d just get to drum all day. i guess underneath it all, i have fear that the instituation of school is somehow gonna beat the spirits out of my kids over time.
i’m rambling. thanks for reading.